Thank you for your quarter-century of devoted service. You are no longer needed. Goodbye. But no, ha ha, of course we jest. That is not how these things are done.
Dear Employee: When in the course of human events—
Ho ho, that is not the way either. Let’s see. Dear Employee: Difficult period, unfortunate necessity, hurts us more than… To right-size or to capsize, that is the question. High waves these days, economic waves, the boat of our once proud industry meets the rogue wave of the future, etc. No life rafts available, sorry, we outsourced the whole life-raft thing last year, no doubt a life raft will appear at any moment on the eastern horizon, from which hope, or at least light, springs eternal, but if not, just call this number, it’s, uh… let’s see, the number is…